My Struggle

The past month has been not to great in the health category of my life. Workouts have been missed, unhealthy food has been consumed and jeans have gotten tight!

With the exception of yesterday (didn’t workout because my legs were sore, didn’t eat great) things are starting to slowly turn around, but I need to stick to it. Today I am airing my dirty laundry in a way, really being transparent with my struggle.

My favourite race picture of myself is this one….

296

This picture was taken on December 1st at the Santa Shuffle, which is also my current 5K PR of 30:15! I think I just looked healthy and happy. I was by no means skinny but I looked healthier. This isn’t my lowest weight I have been but I was able to maintain a certain weight while home on placement last year and I was proud. I want to get back to this weight! And then surpass it!

This is an image I made of race pictures. (Click on it to make it bigger so you can get the full effect haha)

PicMonkey Collage

The first was April 2012 at the forest City 5K. Although I’m wearing a sweater, and you can’t really see it, I felt pretty good about my weight. Throughout the summer I gained a bunch of pounds and then lost a bunch in the fall again, a pattern I followed every year. By December 1st at the Santa Shuffle (middle pic) I looked and felt pretty good. I was maintaining my new weight, and keeping consistent with my workouts! Life was good!! Then when I went back to school in January I completely fell off the wagon. I gained a few pounds, which only got worst once I got home from school, where I gained more pounds. By April 2013, or Sunday when the picture was taken, I have gained too much weight. Looking at the pictures from Sunday makes me cringe, how did I let this happen. Its disgusting really, shameful and embaressing.

I can’t let myself get down about it though or there will be no changes. I have to accept what I have done, change it and drive forward! Workouts are back into my life and the word NO to food is too! Would you like some chips? NO! French Fries? NO! Chocolate? No, well maybe just a little!

Since April 1st I have lost a few pounds, big woop. I weigh myself almost daily, and record the # to try and see how things are going. In a month I should have lost no less than 8 lbs, but its not happening.

I believe that everyone has struggles in their life, well mine is my weight – mainly keeping straight and narrow on the healthy eating track. I want to be done with this weight loss thing, and just maintain already. I’m tired of gaining and loosing and gaining again!

I used to tell myself “you have to loose weight to be skinny” but now I am looking it as a health concern. Now I remind myself that eating 3 cookies is not a healthy choice and I am trying to get healthy! That being overweight isn’t a healthy thing so cutting some weight is simply living a healthy life. For me, this is such a better mindset, then trying to get skinny. Because I will never be skinny 😉 Diabetes runs in my family, and I love sugar way too much. So reminding myself that I need to take care of my body now in order to be healthy 20 years from now is important, I do NOT want to give myself diabetes in the future!

This post is quite lengthy now, but I just thought I would share my struggle. We all have different things going on in our lives, and I just think that mine is more visual. Someone else might have a problem with alcohol or depression which isn’t as visible but we need to remember that everyone struggles with  something and that we all need to be supportive and understanding of them!

Time to loose forever!!

-N

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